well it's time.....time to get all my bowls in a row...
I have been nesting now for days, weeks perhaps....but now all that doesn't matter any longer...
It's my last few days to cook, clean, pay bills, smooth out a schedule, there are so many things to take care of. How do you just drop off the map for weeks? Mom's just don't do that....
Time to let go....to talk about all the "what ifs", to talk about my wishes, my hopes, and worries..
Time to say it all out loud....Time to pray.....
It's time to let go....it's time to jump...to take a leap of faith...
the days are numbered and I am counting....
I have put all my eggs in this basket...in the hands of a stranger...
It is a basket filled with a girls biggest fears and hopes of a "quick fix"...
I am however willing to fight for this...I am just a girl....and these days I feel small....
I feel without power....I feel sad, mad, and glad....
Sad to have this happen to my family....
Mad to have this happen to me....
Glad to have a chance to fight.....
Time to be selfish and concentrate on this failing body...Time to test my strength and to prove to myself I am still that 17 yr old girl...That girl fighting to survive and be a part of this living world....
To do this thing on my own....and to not fail.....
Time to get all the bowls in order and clean this joint....
Pack a bag girls, put on some big girl panties, this is going to be one hell of a ride.....
~L
